Buda

walks in... sniff sniff sniff .. really really big sniff infact a sniiifffff or perhaps a snuooooff "whats that dank, murky, mildew smell, its strangely familiar, putrid but familiar..." looks in big book of strangely familiar putrid smells hmmmm cheesey, mildew, sub catagory 4, that'd be chapter 6, H, HOOPY "well (thinks about saying bugger me, decides not to, things have become far to liberal down here) blow me (bugger thinks shouldn't have said that, puts on chastity belt just in case) its hoopy, whatever next, first I saw alex birdwhistler, then rachael came back and now hoopy, whats going on?" nice to here from you Buda, master of the 'wheel of cheese' and Ghengis Khan of JAM

Mav no problem, well actually it was a problem, first there was the incident with the silly putty and then I lost my little alien in an egg.... very upsetting anyway thats all behind me now what does concern me however is your recent purchase of a gay bro (big black man (can I say that without appearing racist?) with homosexual tendancies?) and the following statement you made with respect to the fact that you shouldn't leave your gay bro erected outside overnight and if you did it would become broken and indeed that when you did the said deed it did indeed become broken to which end you purchased aforesaid new gay bro. right thats over and done with, back to the kung foo ninja mantis style tiling of the kitchen, and, martin don't try those kung foo moves I showed you, remember I am a highly trained master, you may hurt yourself, its a dangerous buisiness this tiling wish I could see melted my lenses with the hair drier again, I'll have to put some more batteries in the nipple clamps I suppose this massage was brought to you by the letter a, the number 3 and an apple mac the first post was brought to you by the letter q and the number six hundred and sixty four ( he liveth next door to the beast) and a sony vwiggle but I'm just showing off now Buda (king of the swingers, the jungle vip, I've reached the top and had to stop and thats whats bothering me) btw Mart,At first I was afraid I was petrified Kept thinkin' I could never live Without you by my side; But then I spent so many nights Thinkin' how you did me wrong (makin me buy the cheap spanish tat) And I grew strong And so you're back From outta space I just walked in to find you there With that sad look upon your face I should have changed that stupid lock I should have made you leave your key If I'd have known for just one second You'd back to bother me Go on now go, walk out the door Just turn around now ('cause) you're not welcome anymore Weren't you the one who tried To hurt me with goodbye Did you think I crumble Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not i. I will survive Oh as long as I know how to love (my little plastic alien in an egg) I know I'll stay alive; I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give and I'll survive, I will survive. Hey hey. It took all the strength I had Not to fall apart Kept trying' hard to mend the pieces Of my broken heart, And I spent oh so many nights Just feeling sorry for myself. I used to cry But now I hold my head up high And you see me somebody new I'm not that chained up little alien in an egg, Still in love with you (well its the words but I would point out this NOT in any way a sexual relationship), And so you feel like droppin' in And just expect me to be free, Now I'm savin' all my lovin' For someone who's lovin' me - obviously my little alien in an egg

a little alien in an egg can't go wrong

Viv = star 😬 Buda (wine lord)

half a dozen lap dancers and a pole don't need water, just wee in the expansion tank thingy more fags, a six pack of stella, sunglasses, a pen, and a lucky gonk.

Don't worry atrout it, you'll be a STAR, FISH aside that is, I'm going down to CORAL to put a bet on the outcome. Just remember the porpoise of your visit to the track and have a nice time, and try and get the local snapper to take some photographs, and get you hair cut if you've got one of those mullet do's.

try not to leave the engine idle-ling

oh my cod, I can't beleive you asked that now, there's a time and a plaice for everything, talking about fish tailing and salmon at this time of the morning, tut.

ahhh anti ingestifs, now if they are french they will be suppositories all french medicine is in the form of suposotories (which I can't spell) so I'd steer well clear if I where you au revoir, je suis un frellon et j'ai un stripy derrier, ou e la tabac? je voudrais vingt marlboro et un chateaux du chatons. Bonjour.

never, never ever, get involved with anything that has 'rim' in its title

me son, Tom aged 10, "Dad its parents evening tonight, are you going?" me "why of course, are you sure its tonight?" Tom "yes, the headmaster mentioned it this morning in assembly" me "OK, I'll go" me thinks "hmm its quite a nice night, if a bit nippy, I think I'll walk, its only half an hour each way" so I set off, past the offlicense, past the group of scary threatening kids, past the slags at the bus stop (buggers didnt even offer me any of their cider), past the spa, turn left, thinks "quite down here tonight, thought there would be more cars, you know, it be parents evening and all" then it dawns as I get to the school, its next bloody week. so I'm home now, just defrosting, not very pleased with said son, trying to think of a suitable punishment, options are: a) make him sleep in the shed till thursday b) carve 'I am a liar' on his head with a spoon c) eat all the biscuits so he cant have any for supper d) melt all his lego e) play cliff richard music very very loud out of my car when I pick him up from school next time f) pretend I went to parents evening and that he is being expelled to a monastic school where you have to do god stuff all the time and eat worms g) be nice and say it doesn't matter whilst smashing his gamecube to bits with a hammer any other suggestions?

mine is the Philips 'azure precise 4340' - mines black, not cordless but it has a ball and socket cord attatchment, anyway, off to the pub now.

if its black and its made by philips and its got a heat resistant over, then its the same one I bought on monday - in which case he will be pleased, its the dogs nadgers, thats what it is.

but Keelie (my wife) said no now I'm sad ☹️

was 550 and you put mav in it then you would break it - probably thud Ow