Mrs GTD Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 An 'alledged' telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review (apologies to those who have seen this before...) ROOM SERVICE: “Morny. Ruin sorbees” GUEST: “Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service.” ROOM SERVICE: “Rye . . Ruin sorbees . . morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?” GUEST: “Uh . . yes . . I’d like some bacon and eggs” ROOM SERVICE: “Ow July den?” GUEST: “What??” ROOM SERVICE: “Ow July den? . . . pry, boy, pooch?” GUEST: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.” ROOM SERVICE: “Ow July dee bayhcem . . . crease?” GUEST: “Crisp will be fine.” ROOM SERVICE: “Hokay. An San tos?” GUEST: “What?” ROOM SERVICE: “San tos. July San tos?” GUEST: “I don’t think so.” ROOM SERVICE: “No? Judo one toes??” GUEST: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo one toes’ means.” ROOM SERVICE: “Toes! toes! . . . why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?” GUEST: “English muffin!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.” ROOM SERVICE: “We bother?” GUEST: “No . . just put the bother on the side.” ROOM SERVICE: “Wad?” GUEST: “I mean butter . . . just put it on the side.” ROOM SERVICE: “Copy?” GUEST: “Sorry?” ROOM SERVICE: “Copy? . . . tea? . . . mill?” GUEST: “Yes . . . Coffee please, and that’s all.” ROOM SERVICE: “One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease, baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy . . . rye??” GUEST: “Whatever you say.” ROOM SERVICE: “Tenjewberrymush.” GUEST: “You’re welcome” Mrs GTD Carbonette - patches that make it easy to say NO to carbon fibre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil.cavanagh Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 ahh... reminds me of trying to order a glass of water in Texas: Waitres> wad would yall like to drink? Me> iced water please. Waitress? Wad? Me> Water. Waitres> Wad? Me> [loud slow mode] A G-L-A-S-S O-F W-A-T-E-R Please [/loud slow mode] Waitrss> Huh? Me> (in digust) wader please. Waitress> ah geeze, why didn't you just say wader?? AARRGGGHHHH and this happend at least once of twice a week.. I still couldn't bring myself to order in Americanise until trying in The Queen's English at least twice!! 😬 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossybee Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Similar experience in deepest Kansas state, at a petrol station (I was lost): me: hi, do you have a map? lady behind counter: what, to clean the floor? me: no, a map! (making open book gestures) lbc: i don't understand! me: you are thinking of a mop! I want a mep! lbc: ahhh! a mep! just over there, sir... 😳 Sssssssssssssssssssssssssscottish Sssssssssssssssssssssupersnot!!! here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs GTD Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Hmmm, the 'wader' thing happened to me in Washington. Trouble was I then found it very difficult to sound like anything other than a cross between Joanna Lumley & the Queen 😳 Mrs GTD Carbonette - patches that make it easy to say NO to carbon fibre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossybee Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I was once asked to best man at a wedding. The closest thing I could compare it to was making love to the queen 😳 It was a great honour, but I didn't really enjoy it Sssssssssssssssssssssssssscottish Sssssssssssssssssssssupersnot!!! here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not a Postman Pat Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 For poor old Queenie, she couldn't even claim it was an honour 😬 Poopoo-san and his not quite black and white cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted November 19, 2006 Share Posted November 19, 2006 "a cross between Joanna Lumley & the Queen " Better than a cross between Joanna Lumley and a queen Daaaaaaaaaaarling, get you, ooooh where diiiiiiiiiiiiiiid you get those shoes, they are soooooooooo you Supercheese R250 Caterham pictures here 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted November 21, 2006 Share Posted November 21, 2006 Once stayed at a B&B in Keswick which had a Swiss theme and owner. First she could not comprehend that I wanted water for breakfast because I didn't like fruit juice. Once she understood the word she then spent the next 10 minutes grilling me (pardon the pun) on why I didn't want fruit juice...was there something wrong with her fruit juice?...I'd like it if I tried it......you can't have a glass of water with your breakfast. From then on she was known as Mrs Cuckoo to me and the then not yet Mrs B...come to think of it that was our first holiday together..... Being the romantic that I am I then insisted we go and camp for the rest of the week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted November 21, 2006 Share Posted November 21, 2006 Mrs B once got asked on a train to Leicester by an Australian: "Excuse me is this the train to Looga-Barooga." Mrs B: "Sorry, to where?" "Looga-Barooga, look here on the map." Mrs B: "Oh, yes it is the train to Loughborough" I prefer Looga-Barooga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarella Posted November 21, 2006 Share Posted November 21, 2006 😬 Mrs GTD YHM or you will in a while! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted November 21, 2006 Share Posted November 21, 2006 "Being the romantic that I am I then insisted we go and camp for the rest of the week" Less room to escape in a tent 😬 Supercheese R250 Caterham pictures here 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted November 21, 2006 Share Posted November 21, 2006 And you don't disturb the guests in the lounge 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Although the other customers in the tent shop do get an audio show 😳 Supercheese R250 Caterham pictures here 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debert Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Found this ... 😬 www.b3ta.com/questions/stupidtourists Doing an English Civil War re-enactment a few years ago........ A mate of mine is doing some carpentry, bashing a few nails into some timber. An American woman comes up to him and says..... 'They didn't have nails in the 17th century' 'What do you mean'? 'They didn't have nails, i read it in a book somewhere' 'Oh right.. I think you'll find they had nains somewhat earlier than the 17th century'. 'How do you know'? 'Do you think they tied Jesus to the fecking cross'? *arrowright*Get a Mosaic Poster of YOUR car and help Nuke the Leuk here *arrowright*Pictures here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Septics, don't you just love 'em 😬 Supercheese R250 Caterham pictures here 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
db Posted November 24, 2006 Share Posted November 24, 2006 Better than Ozzies. My ... Preciousss! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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