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morning sheds again


henry21p

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Well - first I need a feasibility study into the sulking, then a consulatation to ensure that the sulking has proper objectives set, then the actual operational documents that control the operation of the sulking, define responsibilities and objectives and also include a contact map for the project. Then I need to sulk, followed by a study DURING the sulking to ensure that objectives are being met and that I am exploiting any NEW benefits of the sulking properly. Once sulking is completed, I need to ensure that full reports are written into the project, highlighing successes, failures and new opportunities, then the sulk should be graded and put back on the shelf to be refined and then re-used at some future point..
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Hmmmm.... A meeting is required pre-consultation to detemine the spec for the sulking procedure. The the spec must be issued to all related parties to detemine the scope and requirements for the sulk. The after issueing said spec, a meeting must be called to discuss.

 

After this, schedules must be constructed to detail all aspects of the sulk, with revisions as required. Only after these have been approved by the sulk consultant can the sulk commence. Meetings to be called as required to discuss the schedules, pre-sulk.

 

Once the sulk has been completed, 'As-sulked' manuals must be issued, again in triplicate. These must contain all documentation related to the sulk feasibility study, all schedules, operational documentation, commissioning documentation and final reports.

 

This will allow the sulk to be developed for future sulking requirements.

 

Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads.....

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Hmmmm.... Good sulk consultants are ten a penny. Look in the phonebook under 'Cooses ex-girlfriends'! *wink*

 

If you'd have asked me a couple of months ago, I could have volunteered for 'Sulk Manager', but as I handed in my notice last week I'm too *smile* to ☹️.....

 

But, as I'm pretty mercenary I can offer some short-term services as 'Sulk Engineer'. My rates are 15 Curly-Wurlys and a Beano/week, or I'll do a daily rate of a bag of chocolate limes....

 

Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads.....

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I think I would make a good team sulker and would like to apply for said position *smile*

 

Response to application form question below:

 

Q: Why do you consider yourself to be ideally suited to this role as team sulker?

 

A: I am female, which in my considerable experience means that I can out-sulk most people 😳. I can sulk for the smallest reason but reserve my best sulks for when I am not getting my own way, (naturally those around me are expected intuitively to know what I want without me saying so). I m sure that Mr M Calvert will give me a glowing reference in this regard. I have undertaken preliminary sulking health and safety training from Sulk Manager (pro tem) Coose after an unfortunate near-drowning incident involving a fellow sulker.

 

I would prepared to undertake this role for a packet of wotsits and a bottle of panda pop.

 

Can I have the job please Dave

🤔 😬

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All applications will be considered on their merits. Particular attention will be paid to past experience over and above training.

 

All applicants will be asked to submit, in writing, via the sheds, one example of a particularly difficult situation in which they had to sulk and how they overcame the urge to say "sod it" or laugh.

 

And I am an equal opportunities employer, so I will not be taking into consideration any sulking on the grounds of sex, race, weight, height, religious persuasion or shoe size.

 

Edited by - Dave21P on 11 Nov 2004 13:15:11

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But, there are advantages in the field of sulking. Having bussoms and no winkle gives you a serious advantage as you are born with an over-active sulk gland. Having a winkle causes a serious reduction in size of the said gland (though obviously not a complete depletion), and thus the effort to attain an equivalent level is astronomical, although possible.

 

Though, as the M.D. of sulking has already stated, all applications must be considered on merit.

 

Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads.....

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Had you posted your requirement for sulkers last month I feel I would have been ideally suited for the job.......I had been without seven for 11 months, was owed a lot of money by someone and was unable to confirm the order of my new car due to above.....the prospect of never owning a se7en again was on the cards.....

 

however

 

I got my money and now have a spanking new Caterham in the garage so I`m finding my sulking skills have been somewhat depleted.

 

Simon Bell - Caterham 7 Duratec R

I`ve seen the future.....and it`s powered by duratec

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BIT THE SHED! I only mentioned the whole lip/drowning scenario to avoid a fellow sheeder becoming entangled in the branches of that old ladies cat and a whole new industry has evolved based entirely on sulking.

 

(Incidently, and in no way connected, I will be starting lectures and a remote learning course entitled 'Sulking for beginners' and 'The advanced passport to Huffdom'. Prices are two elks ear trumpets and a straw hat for the day lectures, and thruppence ha'penny and a church key for the remote learning package. *thumbup*

 

savin up to be eccentric. but for now, i'll just be stupid...

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