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A proper subject for Shedly rumination (though the Ladies should avert their eyes)


Tony Whitley

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This is about public toilets and men's bits so I must insist that the Ladies leave now.

 

Quite often when I am going about my business in a Gents I will notice someone (often younger than me) who instead of unzipping his fly has to undo his trousers. Having pondered this for a while I have come up with a theory, but one I'm loathe to put to the test. *eek* *eek* *eek*

 

My theory is that these men are lacking in that department and rather than having a fine spout like me (and, I'm sure, all male Shedders *wink*) have only a little nipple which doesn't clear their underpants by a sufficient margin to guarantee delivery of urine to the porcelain without some catching their clothing on the way. 😳

 

I'm sure others must have noticed this phenomenon, do you have any alternative theories?

 

Next Week: Men Who Walk All The Way To The End Urinal - What Have They Got To Hide?

 

M1 7 SMW 1.4-now-1.8K Mem.No. 10376 Picture here 😬

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I always wondered about that too Tony 😳

 

But I had to utilise that technique myself 😳 😳 😳 recently upon the unfortunate combo of flyless boxers and a pair of low-cut cords (comfy for the beergut *thumbup*) which therefore have a very short button-fly *eek*

 

So I had to do the full belt unbuckle etc, and now I know how it feels to have the shoe on the other foot, erm, as it were...

 

 

So I agree with bothe Simon & Noger 😬 *thumbup*

 

Sssssssssssssssssssssssssscottish

Sssssssssssssssssssssupersnot!!!

 

here *wink*

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Dodgy chaps indeed who go and hide for a wee

 

just like the ones who are already on the shaking stage when you arrive at the porcelain wall and are still there shaking away when you are leaving. I always thought that 3 shakes was ............... *eek*

 

Paul

 

Supercheese R250

 

Caterham pictures here 😬

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Tony 😬

 

I have to say that this has occurred to me a few times. I came to the same conclusion as you (on nipple size), although for different reasons. Unbuckling everything and having it all hang down (so to speak) must surely make the delivery of the stream more dangerous rather than less, because two hands may not be enough to control both the pork sword and the dangling pantaloons and trolleys - with the strong possibility that said pantaloons and trolleys could easily drift into the flight path, with dreadful consequences.

 

My alternative view is that these guys believe that, by making such a palaver over the whole unbuckling/unbuttoning thing, we will somehow think that their light sabre is too big to manoeuvre through the fly, and must therefore be released, like a caged panther, from the trews. They do not realise that we end up believing the opposite, on the basis that the lady do protest too much.

 

Hope that helps *wink*

 

Poopoo-san and his not quite black and white cat

 

Edited by - (not a) Postman Pat on 9 Nov 2004 16:06:13

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Tony, I often wondered why you spent so long in the toilets at the Shoulder of Mutton.

 

Naively I thought that, like the rest of us, you were studying those fine photos of women getting their kit off but no, you were studying other blokes peeing habits. *tongue*

 

If this doesn't stop I'm afraid I shall have to insist that Ben severs all ties with your daughter and, therefore, the entire family forthwith. Have a heart man, I urge you to think of your family happiness before it's too late. *wink*

 

Brent

 

2.3 DURATEC SV. Gad these things are expensive

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I've told her that if she doesn't break it off with that...that...ENGINEER *eek* *eek* *eek* and hook up with someone with a proper job like an Estate Agent or a Pension Salesman or an Aromatherapist she'll be cut off without a penny, never again to darken Whitley Towers. While I have sympathy with your plight, don't try to offload your family shame on to me *mad*

 

M1 7 SMW 1.4-now-1.8K Mem.No. 10376 Picture here 😬

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Tony, 'tis true I would have preferred that he seek a long term career in pimping or similar but I refuse to impose my own values and high standards on my son. He must learn by his own mistakes

 

But fraternising with an otherwise delightful lass whose father studies the peeing habits of other men is, I'm afraid, quite beyond the pail and totally unacceptable to me and my family.

 

Please desist from accompanying me to the Gents tomorrow night lest I am unable to seek the urinal furthest from yourself. *tongue*

 

And please ask your daughter to return that very expensive and precious Chiswick family heirloom engagement ring that was purchased from Mr Gerald Ratners fine emporium as all relationships are now off.

 

You could have been associated, by marriage, with a fine dynasty but instead have chosen to walk a wayward path. Shame on you *tongue* *tongue* *tongue*

 

Brent

 

2.3 DURATEC SV. Gad these things are expensive

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A proper fire hose I'll 'ave you know. How did this get turned around to discussing my wedding tackle anyhow 🤔 *confused*

 

Look I know these sheds only have a small urinal area but I can't think it's proper to discuss and compare ones manly attributes with...........you know......another bloke. Now if we are playing doctors and nurses with the girls in the sheds then fairy nuff, I'll be the first to offer meself for examination by a (girlie) doctor but I have to say it just wouldn't be fair on you lot to make you feel so, obviously, inadequate *wink* 😬 😬 😬

 

Brent

 

2.3 DURATEC SV. Gad these things are expensive

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