db Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Got a real sixpointer this morning. Went out for a beer with a mate last night and it turns out he's going to propose to his girlfriend this weekend. One thing led to another, and specifically one pint led to another. Woke up fully clothed, with a jar of redcurrant jelly and a spoon. Couldn't shave this morning for shakey hands. My ... Preciousss! Member #109** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 just out of idle curiosity - where was the spoon? 😳 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Elizabeth Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 And is he STILL going to be proposing after the evening with you and your spoon Sixpointer ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
db Posted August 18, 2004 Author Share Posted August 18, 2004 For those not familiar with the six point scale of hangovers:- 1 star hangover No pain. No real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you. You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka and Red Bulls. However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a bag of fries. 2 star hangover No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails. 3 star hangover Slight headache. Stomach feels crap. You are definitely a space cadet and not so productive. Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because the perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 am. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen doughnuts and a litre of coke watching daytime TV. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once. 4 star hangover You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might spew. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide the fact that you (depending on your gender) either missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, or, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgems. Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from a second-grade class circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one of the following - home time, a doughnut and somewhere to be alone, or a Time Machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before. You scare small children in the street just by walking past them. 5 star hangover You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you. Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last drop of moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe ..... very gently. 6 star hangover You arrive home and climb into bed. Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi. You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up. You notice that your bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room. No matter what you do you now, you're going to chuck. You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail. After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the pictures, you find the toilet. If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls. You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus noises, spitting, and farting. Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived. Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark. With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent. You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your tonsils shot out of your mouth on the last occasion. It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as you try to climb into bed. She/he abuses you again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair. You reluctantly accept their advice and have a shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital. Work is simply not an option. The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make you sick again, like moving. You vow never to touch a drop again and who knows for the next two or three hours at least you might even succeed. My ... Preciousss! Member #109** Edited by - db on 18 Aug 2004 13:39:00 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Birtwisle Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 HELLO DB, HOW's YOUR HEAD 🤔 S713UMY 1.8K Viper Blue and Spandex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
db Posted August 18, 2004 Author Share Posted August 18, 2004 Drifted down to a three. Just as well - doing some tricky knifework in the kitchen at the mo with a dozen salmon fillets... But thanks for the yell... REally could do with going out for an aeroscreened drive -- that would clear the head! My ... Preciousss! Member #109** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Fancy a rum and coke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
db Posted August 18, 2004 Author Share Posted August 18, 2004 Runs to toilet, clutching mouth... My ... Preciousss! Member #109** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 He shoots, he scores Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myles Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 I hate the afternoon hangovers - not that I can remember the last time I managed that... ...Just about make it through the morning and lunch - and *then* the shakes, jerks and lack of co-ordination kick in... Sobering up is definitely best done asleep... Keep BC free and open for ALL. Membership No. 43xx Alcester Racing 7's Equipe - 🙆🏻™ Alcester-Racing-Sevens.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 or drinking some more Supercheese R250 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tam Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 I hope you're proud of yourself db - I am now crying with laughter and my laptop is covered with spayed breakfast as a result of laughing whilst eating 😳 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Tam See if you'd been having beer for breakfast it'd have been less of a problem for you Hic Paul Supercheese R250 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevSull Too Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 covered with spayed breakfast Is it customary to spay breakfast in your house?? Poor, poor breakfast! 😬You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same. 😬 Edited by - KevSull on 19 Aug 2004 12:26:07 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 I would have thought it was better to have breakfast that could reproduce, it would save going shopping for bread, tea,coffee, bacon, mustard,eggs, sausages, porridge, black pudding, tomatoes, croisant, pain aux chocolat, kidnies and cereal. This just goes to show that not even a canibal would want to eat Rosssssssssssssssss as he's been neutered down the vets Paulllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Supercheese R250 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisb Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Oh dear ☹️ Running about 3.5 -> 4 on DB's rather descriptive star rating. Why oh why did just one* little beer cause so damage? It might have something to do with having the willpower of a soggy mars bar........... * One might have just been the start. * One is used in the loosest possible way. * One is in no way indicative of what was actually drunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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