db Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Bloke rings work 'I can't come to work today, I'm sick.' Try my favourite* excuse in future:- I couldn't come to work as the voices told me to stay at home and claen the guns... * obviously excuse these days is that I haven't got a job... My ... Preciousss! Member #109** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Elizabeth Posted August 17, 2004 Author Share Posted August 17, 2004 "I' m a Joker A Smoker A Midnight Toker" So very true 😳 Missing some John Cooper Clarke ... From the wonderfully titled Tw@t. "You’re like a dose of scabies, I’ve got you under my skin. You make life a fairy tale... Grimm! " "You’ve got this slippery quality, it makes me think of phlegm, And a dual personality; I hate both of them. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs GTD Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 One of the worst rhymes ever, by The Verve... "Yes, there's love if you want it Don't sound like no sonnet" Makes me squirm everytime I hear it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs GTD Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 On the other hand some pure genius (IMHO) Sup up your beer and collect your fags, There's a row going on down near Slough, Get out your mat and pray to the West, I'll get out mine and pray for myself. Thought you were smart when you took them on, But you didn't take a peep in their artillery room, All that rugby puts hairs on your chest, What chance have you got against a tie and a crest. Hello-Hurrah - what a nice day - for the Eton Rifles, Hello-Hurrah - I hope rain stops play - with the Eton Rifles. Thought you were clever when you lit the fuse, Tore down the house of commons in your brand new shoes, Compose a revolutionary symphony, Then went to bed with a charming young thing. Hello-Hurrah - cheers then mate - its the Eton Rifles, Hello-Hurrah - an extremist scrape - with the Eton Rifles. What a catalyst you turned out to be, Loaded the guns then you run off home for your tea, Left me standing - like a guilty (naughty) schoolboy. We came out of it naturally the worst, Beaten and bloody and I was sick down my shirt, We were no match for their untamed wit, Though some of the lads said they'll be back next week. Hello-Hurrah - there's a price to pay - to the Eton Rifles, Hello-Hurrah - I'd prefer the plague - to the Eton Rifles. Hello-Hurrah - there's a price to pay - to the Eton Rifles, Hello-Hurrah - I'd prefer the plague - to the Eton Rifles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Ahhh, Paul Weller..angry young man wasn't he 😬 😬 😬 😬 Dannyboy - 92,000 miles and rising Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 And all I can do is keep on telling you I want you, I need you But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you Now don't be sad 'Cause two out of three ain't bad Now don't be sad 'Cause two out of three ain't bad Supercheese R250 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quatro Matty told Hatty about a thing she saw. Had two big horns and a wooly jaw. Wooly bully, wooly bully. Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully. Hatty told Matty, "Let's don't take no chance. Let's not be L-seven, come and learn to dance." Wooly bully, wooly bully Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully. Matty told Hatty, "That's the thing to do. Get you someone really to pull the wool with you." Wooly bully, wooly bully. Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully. Supercheese R250 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 And I find it kinda funny I find it kinda sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take When people run in circles It's a very, very mad world mad world Supercheese R250 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs GTD Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Well, going back to Noger's original post... "The indians send signals from the rocks above the pass The cowboys take position in the bushes and the grass, The squaw is with the corporal, she's tied against the tree, She doesn't mind the language, it's the beatings she don't need." 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs GTD Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Or... I've come across the desert To greet you with a smile My camel looks so tired It's hardly worth my while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 or It's a bit old but it's mine, I mend it in my spare time Just last week I changed the oil, the rocker valves and the coil Supercheese R250 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs GTD Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Just heard The Divine Comedy. "...Oscar Wilde Was a lonely child" 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Elizabeth Posted August 17, 2004 Author Share Posted August 17, 2004 My breath smells of a thousand fags And when I'm drunk I dance like me Dad . . . My bed's full of takeaways And fantasies of easy lays The pause button's broke on my video Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs GTD Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 And is this real 'Cos I feel fake Oprah Winfrey Rikki Lake Or... Separate your right from wrongs Come and sing a different song The kettle's on so don't be long Rhyming triplets 😬 Edited by - Mrs GTD on 17 Aug 2004 15:31:53 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Bill Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 What did you dream? It's alright we told you what to dream. You dreamed of a big star, He played a mean gituar, He always ate in the Steak Bar. He loved to drive in his Jaguar. So welcome to the Machine. BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Bill Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Money, get away. Get a good job with good pay and you're okay. Money, it's a gas. Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash. New car, caviar, four star daydream, Think I'll buy me a football team. did some one say Roman Abramovodkacitigenticktch? 😬 BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La vache espagnole Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it’s sinking And racing around to come up behind you again. 😳 nothing... This is a: a bit depressing and b: not very rhyming (apart from the beginningy bit); so I've had another go (below) Edited by - MisterToad on 17 Aug 2004 17:49:26 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Let me be weak, let me sleep And dream of sheep. 😳 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La vache espagnole Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Abra, abracadabra, I wanna reach out and grab ya! 😬 😳 nothing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninja Boy Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 I don't think you can beat: I messed my pants, When we flew over France by...erm...Busted... 😳 IGMC, Mark 😬 1800 K-Series - S777 DMH 😬 *arrowright* Mundane-o - J777 DMH - if it's raining *arrowleft* Here's my blog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve-B Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 i hold your hand in mine dear, i press it to my lips i take a dainty bite dear of your lovely finger tips tom lehrer Steve B Big Black Beast^3 Lighten up everybody....NOW USA 2005: How the West Was Driven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTD Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 At the early age of 38, my mother said Go West "Get up said she and get a job", said I "I'll do my best" I pulled on my Wellingtons and marched to Kiltimagh But I took a wrong turn in Charlestown and ended up in Knock Aaaah, Christy...! G 4 Geoff Leather Good - Carbon Fibre Bad 619 GTD here Paying for 619GTD here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Whitley Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 We used to be in love But now we are in hate You used to say I came too early But it was you who came too late Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Bill Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 GTD, if you are going to start that... Then the Widow Malone began to cry, Ah such a lovely corpse, did yis ever see, Arrah, Tim avourneen, why did you die? Will ye hould your gob? said Molly McGee. BMcB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Elizabeth Posted August 20, 2004 Author Share Posted August 20, 2004 My old mans a dustman He wears a dustmans hat He wears cor blimey' trousers and he lives in a council flat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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