Ahhh. That explains it!!!

[owelly]

The Beer Scooter

 

How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night drinking

and thought 'How on earth did I get home?' and as hard as you try, you

cannot piece together your return journey from the pub to your house.

The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter!

The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the

drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a large batch

of these magical devices.

 

The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion:-

The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the"slurring gland"

begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many subcontractors

detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer Scooter. The scooter

scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-

Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large portion of the

passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment.

Which answers your second question after a night out 'How did I spend so

much money?'

Unfotunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be

responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries).

An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time

segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-dimensional Portals dictates

that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. Which answers your third

question after a night out 'What the hell happened?'

With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing

Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending order,

those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's REMIT is not

necessarily the REMIT of another and quite often lost time is regained in

discussions with other users over a period of time. Independent studies have

also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the scooter's navigation system to

malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom, often with

horrific consequences.

With recent models including a GPS, Bacchus mae an investment in a scooter

drive-thru chain specialising in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts.

Another question answered??

For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked from

other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots

are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tiptoe up the

stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special antigravity springs

ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS (Coffee

Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins. The final add-on

Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the TAS(Tobacco Absorption

System). This explains how one person can apparently get through 260

Marlboro Lights in a single night.

 

PS: Don't forget the onboard heater, which allows you to comfortably get

home from the pub in subzero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.

 

savin up to be eccentric. but for now, i'll just be stupid...

[Ninja Boy]

😬

Don't forget the onboard heater...

---

That'll be the Beer Jacket that keeps you warm, not forgetting the Beer Compass helping you navigate home...

 

Cheers,

Mark

 

😬 1800 K-Series - S777 DMH 😬

*arrowright* Mundane-o - J777 DMH - if it's raining *arrowleft*

Here's my blog

[Morls]

All true 😬

 

 

 

Mark

 

Look it's Mavis here and Jubilee 7 here

[rossybee]

😬 😬 😬

 

Has anyone experienced the ugly bus?

 

It's when, at a certain point in the evening (usually later on), you go to splash yer boots, only to find that the ugly bus has come and removed all the undesireable birds from the battle-cruiser, and replaced them with Page 3 stunners!

 

 

 

Rrrrrrrrrrroooossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss !!!!! here

[scooby dooby doo]

you get a beer jacket to wear on the beer scooter i find - none of this 'heating' lark ❗

 

HOOPY R706KGU Hoopylight R

[Morls]

After the Ugly bus has done it's rounds, and providing beer goggles have been provided (free with 8 pints of Stella) tickets are given away free to the...

 

Ten-to-two-Zoo

 

 

 

Mark

 

Look it's Mavis here and Jubilee 7 here

[La vache espagnole]

😬 😬 😬 😳 😬

 

😳 nothing...