Jump to content
Click here if you are having website access problems ×

Why don't dogs fart?


Tony Whitley

Recommended Posts

Well, very infrequently anyway. Question arises after my dog did so for the first time in his 13 year life and the look of surprise on his face was priceless. Is it because he's a carnivore and views any sort of vegetable as a dastardly attempt at poisoning? Cows fart copiously and are alleged to be the main cause of global warming (I'm quoting an American "scientist" employed by the government to explain why they didn't sign up for Kyoto. He also works as a consultant for Ford to show that SUVs are good for the environment) so I guess that's because they eat nothing but vegetable matter. As a huming bean I like to feel that I tread a comfortable path between the two extremes (except the morning after consuming a few fine English ales, obviously 🙆🏻 *eek* 😬)

 

Dog in question is extremely intelligent and has learned how to dial the RSPCA whenever threatened with a bath... we're ostracised by the neighbours since their elite SWAT team broke into our house to rescue him last time.

 

Rain: Sydney good, Berkshire bad ☹️

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Sorry matey, dogs fart....especially after beer! That low growling noise when they sleep....

 

We have two black female cats, and the guffs they sometimes drop are heroic, to say the least. And they're beginning to syncronise, too.

 

They're now on a diet, by the by.

 

 

You need a dog with no nose.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm... must be down to breed, or breeding. Ours is a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel, maybe like royalty they don't do anything as uncouth as breaking wind. Mind you, I had a Dachsund as a kid and he didn't either - maybe because he voss cherman ent vartink iss verboten 🤔

 

Rain: Sydney good, Berkshire bad ☹️

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I should learn to do that quote thang....but....

 

"Why is it that my dog knows he mustn't cr*p indoors but is quite happy to lie in front of the fire farting away all evening?"

 

Ooh Mind out. Or your dog might go "woof"! I mean, we all like a bit of popping exhaust overrun on the downshift.....

 

I shall now "log off".

 

(You got any of Murray's "anti flameproof overalls"?)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The farts of cats are silent, but deadly. I originally (as a child) thought that the lack of sonic oomph was down to the lack of buttocks - but these days, I suspect it's something to do with them just gently leaking and not (in general) building up enough pressure for a minor explosion.

 

Following this line of thought, humans are like a kind of diving-bell - i.e. in the vertical orientation, gasses will tend to accumulate until they can no longer be accomodated - whereas cats in the horizontal can only build up gas reserves in the zone above the line drawn betwixt mouth and bottom (IYSWIM). Or to put it more graphically, skewer a cat as you would for a charity cat-roast - you will observe that the likelihood of cat farting is increased if it lies on it's back (more volume above the skewer line for gasses to congregate).

 

Of course, this simple model works on the assumption that cats are cast hollow out of chocolate...

 

The other thing I noticed as a child was that cats seem immune to human farts, no matter how close the cat is to ground-zero...

 

And that, I think you'll agree, is that. *smile*

 

Keep BC free and open for ALL. Membership No. 43xx

 

Alcester Racing 7's Equipe - 🙆🏻

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My dog farts 🙆🏻. Vile, horrid, eye watering farts. Several times, most nights.

 

Mum says that most of her Dalmations have farted; the sly bugger(s) always look up at you after they've dropped one, almost as if to ask "did you do that". Then they leave the room for you to savour the odour alone *eek*.

 

Peardrop

 

Edited by - Peardrop on 30 Nov 2003 14:09:48

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh yes cat farts are something to behold.........'silent but violent' 😬

 

We have 2 Maine Coons which, for those who don't know, are extremely large felines of the Tabby persuasion. The male almost always does it as you pick him up *thumbdown* and then looks very hurt when you immediately drop him like a hot potato 😬. My God the stink is of epic proportions. 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻

 

Brent

 

Zetec

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a boxer dog that would jump up in astonishment and run and hide whenever it farted. We used to change its dog food to see what smell would come out. Ice cream gave the nicest smell if I remember correctly *eek*

 

savin up to be eccentric. but for now, i'll just be stupid...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not sure this got proper prominence a few weeks back (I'm sure I mentioned it in a thread *somewhere*, but this one seems ideal).

 

The Times published an article about research into herring - apparently in addition to the normal fish-to-fish communication methods (pulsing their swim bladders etc.), the also communicate via melodious trumps (possibly a cousin of Thelonious Monk - but I digress...).

 

And that, (apart from the cat-food perspective), is one of the only good things I can think of about the 'orrid little beasties.

 

Fish = yuck. *thumbdown* *thumbdown* *thumbdown*

 

Keep BC free and open for ALL. Membership No. 43xx

 

Alcester Racing 7's Equipe - 🙆🏻

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And it has just occured to me that perhaps further research should be entered into with respect to goldfish...

 

...perhaps those little ropes of fish-poo that they trail around behind themselves are really brail messages...

 

Makes you fink, dunnit. No suggestions on a postcard as to the subject of fort, please *wink*

 

Keep BC free and open for ALL. Membership No. 43xx

 

Alcester Racing 7's Equipe - 🙆🏻

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...