Alex Birtwisle Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 I hate Cucumber. It spoils a good sandwich, it taints my Pimms, it looks at me from salad with an evil and malicious stair Why on earth such a thing should be allowed to evolve is beyond me. The KT event that brought about the demise of the dinosaurs should have killed the cucumber too Alas it didn't and some twit of a farmer thought it was a bright idea to cultivate it and sell it to saladmunger's. I hereby rename cucumber Poohcumber Alex S713UMY 1.8K Viper Blue and Black Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachael Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 here we go again... 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave hard Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 "an evil and malicious stair" I think I've fallen up and down a few of these 😬 😬 hadn't realised they were produced by cucumbers though Caterham 21 VHPD - one of the few Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Birtwisle Posted October 30, 2003 Author Share Posted October 30, 2003 exactly Dave .... now you know how evil they really are S713UMY 1.8K Viper Blue and Black Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tam Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Dear Sir It has come to my attention that cucumbers have been targeted for unfair criticism by some members of your organisation. This is a wholly unjustified prejudice. Cucumbers are versatile vegetables, suitable for a number of household uses. I particularly like the decorative swirls one can create as a fashionable garnish (see Woman's Own cookery pages, October 1974 edition) Yours faithfully Outraged of Berkshire (MCLF*) *Member of the Cucumber Liberation Front Now celery on the other hand....... 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevSull Too Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Cucumber is mildly annoying, however, I'm with Tam on the celery front: WORK OF THE DEVIL. Down with celery. 😬You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same. 😬 Edited coz I'm a spaz Edited by - KevSull on 30 Oct 2003 10:06:21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachael Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Poor celery, it never did anything to harm anyone and now you are all picking on it. Celey's great you actually use more calories eating it than you get from it...great for those trying to improve their power to weight ratio 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meldrew Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Fans of Gillingham FC pelted their goalkeeper - the heaviest man in the football league - with it on a regular basis some time ago, singing a bawdy song about how he was overweight and should eat more of it. It resulted in a ban on sales of celery within a certain radius of the gound on Saturdays. Perhaps, Alex, you should organise malicious cucumber-hurling at United on a Saturday? Brassicas of all kinds are the vegetables of choice among the discerning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Elizabeth Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Brassicas of all kinds are the vegetables of choice among the discerning. Don't the clips and underwiring and lacey bits get caught in your teeth ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meldrew Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 You have to prepare them properly first, by cutting off all the hard and stalky bits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Elizabeth Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Aha .. brassicas have always been a source of confusion to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meldrew Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 With practice, they become much easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tam Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 there speaks the voice of experience 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meldrew Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 I suppose so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby dooby doo Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Alex is quite correct on this one. And the correct prepartion for celerey 🤔 10 miuntes under an array of blowtorches until its burned away into dust HOOPY R706KGU Hoopylight R Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachael Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Gillingham used to be my local team, when I lived in Kent As long as no one is planning to throw vegetables of any kind at Arsenal, then I don't really care 😬 Oh and Alex won't because he doesn't like football. Rach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meldrew Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 If there are any more vegetables on the pitch at Arsenal, they'll run into the same issue as England did in the rugby World Cup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r c ole Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 One has to remember the poor SWF without a good cucumber where would she be 195BHP Dry Sumped K Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby dooby doo Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 she'd be much happy as her house would be free of foul vegetables. (phew ❗ avoiding making a smutty reply ❗) HOOPY R706KGU Hoopylight R Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alias Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Marrows are worse than cucumbers and far more expensive. What's more, they are bigger so there's even more yuckiness to get through. One car - 1400 Supersport with 6 gears and clamshell wings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FH Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Could someone explain to me why an Area Or9aniser should raise this evil topci again? . . . . ...or was that "the point" I just saw flying over my head 🤔 . . ....sorry folks, I've bin reet proper poorly for the last few days and my brain is fugged up with drurrgs 😳 FH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby dooby doo Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 he's doing his duty to keep us vigilant about the evils of the world ❗ HOOPY R706KGU Hoopylight R Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevSull Too Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 my brain is fugged up with drurrgsYou lucky thing. My perception is crystal clear at the moment and I can assure you that things would improve with a little fugging. 😬You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same. 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La vache espagnole Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 If you wondered what the cucumber was like before the KT event... 😳 nothing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachael Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Oh ☹️ Hope you feel better soon FH. Rach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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