Jump to content
Click here if you are having website access problems ×

Brian


dieselnut

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 63
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

BLOOD & THUNDER PROPHET: ...And the bezan shall be huge and black, and the eyes thereof red with the blood of living creatures, and the whore of Babylon shall ride forth on a three-headed serpent, and throughout the lands, there'll be a great rubbing of parts. Yeeah...

 

FALSE PROPHET: ...For the demon shall bear a nine-bladed sword. Nine-bladed! Not two or five or seven, but nine, which he will wield on all wretched sinners, sinners just like you, sir, there, and the horns shall be on the head, with which he will...

 

BORING PROPHET: ...Obadiah, his servants. There shall, in that time, be rumours of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi-- with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril that, in that time, shall the third one...

 

😬You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same. 😬

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

BRIAN:

Good morning.

FOLLOWERS:

A blessing! A blessing! A blessing!...

BRIAN:

No. No, please! Please! Please listen. I've got one or two things to say.

FOLLOWERS:

Tell us. Tell us both of them.

BRIAN:

Look. You've got it all wrong.

 

You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves. You're all individuals!

FOLLOWERS:

Yes, we're all individuals!

BRIAN:

You're all different!

FOLLOWERS:

Yes, we are all different!

DENNIS:

I'm not.

 

Tam

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Brian It-it says, "Romans, go home"!

Centurion: No, it doesn't! What's Latin for "Roman"? [grabs Brian's ear] Come on, come on!

Brian: Romanus!

Centurion: Goes like?

Brian: Annus!

Centurion: Vocative plural of annus is...?

Brian: Anni?

Centurion: [writes] Romani. And eunt? What is eunt?

Brian: "Go"! Let-

Centurion: Conjugate the verb "to go".

Brian: Ire; eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt!

Centurion: So eunt is...?

Brian: Third person plural, present indicative. "They go!"

Centurion: But "Romans, go home" is an order, so you must use the...?

Brian: The... imperative!

Centurion: Which is...?

Brian: I!

Centurion: [twisting Brian's ear] How many Romans?

Brian: [yelling] I.. Plural, plural! Ite, ite!

Centurion: [writing] Ite. Domus? Nominative? But "go home", it is motion towards, isn't it, boy?

Brian: Dative, sir!

[The centurion promptly draws his swords and presses it against Brian's throat. Brian yells:]

No, not dative! Not the dative, sir! No! The... accusative, accusative! Domum, sir, ad domum!

Centurion: Except that domus takes the...?

Brian: The locative, sir!

Centurion: Which is?

Brian: Domum!

Centurion: [writing] Domum... -um [sheathing his sword] Understand?

[brian nods eagerly]

Now, write it out a hundred times!

Brian: Yes, sir, thank you, sir! Hail Caesar!

Centurion: Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off!

Brian: Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar and everything, sir!

 

 

 

 

Supercheese R250

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I only came here because I thought it was going to be a discussion on whether Brian Aldridge in the Archers is going to get better and whether he is going to run off his mistress and son after all as soon as he gets out of hospital.

 

so disappointed. Oh well it's almost 7pm Da-di-dah-di-dah-di-dah Da-di-dah-di-da-di etc......

can't get by without the daily dose of Ambridge

 

Se7en's - the most fun you can have with clothes on Barbarella here

Link to comment
Share on other sites

">Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say 'ni' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history. <"

 

Oh, sorry, wrong film......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bignose - Will you be quiet!

Bn wife - Don't pick yer nose.

Bignose - I wasn't picking my nose. I was scratching it.

Bn wife - You was picking it... while you was talking to that lady.

Bignose - I wasn't.

Bn wife - Leave it alone. Give it a rest.

Trouble - Do you mind? I can't hear a word he's saying.

Bn wife - Don't you 'Do you mind' me. I was talking to my husband.

Trouble - Well go and talk to him somewhere else... I can't hear a bloody

thing.

Bignose - Don't you swear at my wife.

Trouble - I was only asking her to shut up so I could hear what he was saying,

Bignose.

Bnwife - Don't you call my husband Bignose.

Trouble - Well he has got a big nose.

Jew - Could you be quite, please. [To trouble:] What was that?

Trouble - I don't know... I was too busy talking to bignose.

Man - I think it was 'Blessed are the cheese-makers'.

Jewwife - Ah. What's so special about the cheese-makers?

Jew - Well obviously it's not meant to be taken literally, it refers to any

manufacturers of dairy products.

Trouble - See. If you hadn't been going on, we'd have heard that, Bignose.

Bignose - Hey. Say that once more, I'll smash your bloody face in.

Trouble Better keep listening. There might be a bit about blessed are the

bignoses.

Brian - Oh lay off him.

Trouble - Well you're not so bad yourself, conch-face. Where are you two from?

Nose city?

Bignose - One more time, mate. I'll take you to the ferkin' cleaners.

Bn Wife - Language... and don't pick your nose.

Bignose - I wasn't going to pick my nose, I was going to thump him.

Man2 - Hear that? Blessed are the greek.

Jew - The greek?

Man2 - Well apparently, he's going to inherit the earth.

Jew - Did anyone catch his name?

bn wife - You're not going to thump anybody.

Bignose - I'll thump him if he calls me bignose again.

Trouble - Oh shut up Bignose.

Bignose - Ah. Orright. I warned you. I really will slug you so hard...

Bnwife - Oh it's the Meek! Blessed are the meek! Oh that's nice innit.

I'm glad they're getting something 'cause they have a hell of a time.

Trouble - Listen. I'm only telling the truth... you have got a very big nose.

Bignose - Hey. Your nose is gonna be three ft wide across your face by the time

I've finished with you.

Man - Sssssh.

Trouble - Who hit yours then? Goliath's big brother?

Bignose - Oh. Right. That's your last warning

Jewwife - Oh Do pipe down. [she abruptly get hit in the face by Bignose!!] OH!

 

Steve

Se7en-Up!

 

Magnolia - its the new BRG/Yellow! 😬

 

Edited by - Steve Motts on 4 Oct 2003 01:23:19

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...