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Brian


dieselnut

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Brave Sir Robin ran away,

Bravely ran away, away.

When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.

Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about

And gallantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet,

He beat a very brave retreat,

Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin.

 

ROBIN:

I never!

 

Tee hee

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Maitre D: And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.

 

Mr Creosote: No.

 

Maitre D: Oh sir! It's only a tiny little thin one.

 

Mr Creosote: No. **** off - I'm full... [belches]

 

Maitre D: Oh sir... it's only *wafer* thin.

 

Mr Creosote: Look - I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.

 

 

Supercheese R250

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Maitre D: Oh sir, just... just *one*...

 

Mr Creosote: Oh all right. Just one.

 

Maitre D: Just the one, sir... voila... bon appetit...

 

[Mr Creosote somehow manages to stuff the wafer-thin mint into his mouth and then swallows. The Maitre D takes a flying leap and cowers behind some potted plants. There is an ominous splitting sound. Mr Creosote looks rather helpless and then he explodes, covering waiters, diners, and technicians in a truly horrendous mix of half digested food, entrails and parts of his body. People start vomiting.]

 

 

Supercheese R250

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I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was 'That piece of hallibut was good enough for Jehovah'

 

 

BLASPHEMY!!!! He said it again

 

I don't think it ought to be blasphey, just saying Jehovah.

He said it again!

You're only making it worse for yourself.

Making it worse? How could it be worse? Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah.

 

I'm warning you... If you say Jehovah once more...

 

Stop, stop. Will you stop that... stop it.

Now look. No-one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle.

Do you understand?

Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear; even if they do say Jehovah.

 

SQUELCH 😬

 

 

 

 

Steve

Se7en-Up!

 

Magnolia - its the new BRG/Yellow! 😬

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Grim Reaper: Silence!!! I have come for you.

 

[Pause as this sinks in. Sidelong glance. A stifled fart.]

 

Angela: ... You mean to...

 

Grim Reaper: ... Take you away. That is my purpose. I am Death.

 

Geoffrey: Well that's cast rather a gloom over the evening hasn't it?

 

 

Supercheese R250

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Roman Next. Crucifixion?

Prisnr1 Yes.

Roman Good. Out of the door, line on the left. One cross each. Next.

Crucifixion?

Prisnr2 Yes.

Roman Good. Out of the door, line on the left. One cross each. Next.

Crucifixion?

Trouble Eh? No, freedom.

Roman What?

Trouble Eh, freedom for me. They said I hadn't done anything, so I could go

free and live on an island somewhere.

Roman Oh? Oh, that's jolly good. Well, off you go then.

Trouble Naah. I'm only pulling your leg. It's crucifixion really.

Roman Oho, I see. Very good very good. Well, out of the door...

Trouble Yeah. I know the way. Out of the door, one cross each, line on the

left.

Roman Line on the left, yes. Thank you.

Crucifixion?

Prisnr3 Yes.

Roman Good.

 

 

Steve

Se7en-Up!

 

Magnolia - its the new BRG/Yellow! 😬

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It's fun to charter an accountant

And sail the wide accountancy,

To find, explore the funds offshore

And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy!

 

It can be manly in insurance.

We'll up your premium semi-annually.

It's all tax deductible.

We're fairly incorruptible,

We're sailing on the wide accountancy!

 

Supercheese R250

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Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable.

Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar who could

think you under the table.

 

David Hume could out-consume Schoppenhauer and Hegel.

And Whittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

 

There's nothing Nieizsche couldn't teach 'ya

'bout the raising of the wrist.

Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

 

John Stewart Mill, of his own free will

On half a pint of shanty was particularly ill.

Plato they say could stick it away,

Half a crate of whiskey every day.

 

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,

And Hoppes was fond of his dram.

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart.

"I drink, therefore I am."

 

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;

A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.

 

😬 *thumbup*BB

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You see that? That's where I was born. You know, one day, when

I was a little boy, my mother she took me on her knee and she

said: 'Gaston, my son. The world is a beautiful place. You

must go into it, and love everyone, not hate people. You must

try and make everyone happy, and bring peace and contentment

everywhere you go.'

 

And so... I became a waiter... 😬 😬 😬

 

Steve

Se7en-Up!

 

Magnolia - its the new BRG/Yellow! 😬

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