rossybee Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 ...or for those real stubborn turds, partially submerge child in decarbonising fluid for around 30mins... NB - bottom half Ross Very Black 6spd SuperSport Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Ross I can see you've got a real good grip on this fatherhood business, I hope Hoopy et al are paying attention to all this good advice Paul If ya' can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all. Thumper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 How about filling them with Coke - it works with old pennies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby dooby doo Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 hmmm.... don't thay burp out the other end then HOOPY R706KGU 495 kg 200 bhp Hoopylight R - finished this weekend i hope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Small people leak various things out of every orifice, I think the suggestion might work but could be expensive in Coke, perhaps someone could try a cheaper drug, Ross ? If ya' can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all. Thumper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossybee Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Thanks Paul, yes I do believe I have it down to a fine art. Example: Coke is a BIG no-no. You have to scrape them off the roof afterwards due to the E numbers involved. Diet Coke is worse, & Irn Bru is the madness daddy. Smarties & Creme Eggs are firm favourites also. Cheaper alternative to Coke could be a hefty dose of Calpol (say, a couple of tablespoons) - BUT AS DAVINA SAYS - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME !!! Regards all, The Voice of Experience Ross Very Black 6spd SuperSport Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not a Postman Pat Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 I won't let mine near Fruit Shoots - turns them into loonies Pat and his not quite black and white cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asker of daft questions Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Medised is excellent too SW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meldrew Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Irn Bru is the madness daddy LMAO. Quite so. Even attempting to drink it is a sign of incipient lunacy. Dirty nappies are only good for one thing - terrifying your male mates who have never had kids of their own (see Boonie's treatment above). I'll never forget the look on my best mate's face when he foolishly offered to help me change a particularly vile example. The best advice I can offer is always try and foist off the job of changing the really smelly ones on your other half. This is callous, I know, but easily the best method. It can lead to Mexican stand-offs developing where neither partner accepts the responsibility, be it through callousness, laziness or on spurious grounds of fairness. These are very dangerous if resolution is not achieved within a reasonable timeframe, as the offending pants can continue to expand through the addition of further unwanted waste product, until the seals pop and it's time for a dung-fuelled re-enactment of the Challenger O-ring disaster, right in your own home. Edited by - Meldrew on 5 Jun 2003 15:54:07 Edited by - Meldrew on 5 Jun 2003 15:54:42 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meldrew Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 On the subject of mind-altering substances for the under-fives, I gather SUnny Delight makes lunatics out of them and turns them a fetching colour if consumed to excess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not a Postman Pat Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 I've always achieved perverse satisfaction out of the act of lifting baby up and having a good sniff to see if the nappy needs changing - when done near to said childless male mates, of course, so I can see their reaction 😳 Pat and his not quite black and white cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 😬 It's also well worth losing your sense of smell, then you can say "no I did notice that the sprog is crawling around with 10kg of toxic waste down the back of their nappy" I had a collegue who through it fun to take a couple of used nappies into work and leave them in peoples desk drawers while they were away on holiday If ya' can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all. Thumper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not a Postman Pat Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 😬 You've reminded me - it's also huge fun to visit some friends, realise baby is stinking, and say absolutely nothing, just to see how long it takes the hosts to say something along the lines of "I think someone might have done something" followed by a nervous chuckle. Of course, I don't have many friends left now ... Pat and his not quite black and white cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby dooby doo Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 the challenger style explosion has happened. what was really fun was he wondered around Em's house for a while before we found out... HOOPY R706KGU 495 kg 200 bhp Hoopylight R - finished this weekend i hope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby dooby doo Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 The "lift and snift" is also an amusing one. more amusing is getting one twin to go and sniff the other 😬 HOOPY R706KGU 495 kg 200 bhp Hoopylight R - finished this weekend i hope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossybee Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Pat - your last few comments show that you're a man after my own heart 😬 Sunny D - try leaving in tintop on a sunny day - it gives them the sh!ts... NOTE: I DON'T DO THIS ON PURPOSE 😬 Ross Very Black 6spd SuperSport Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 It nearly gave me the sh!ts just reading your post 😬 If ya' can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all. Thumper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mav Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Viv Wishing i had my own seven, but not spinning it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 Viv, the thumb would need to be like this in order to provide any chance of being used as a stopper 😳 😬 If ya' can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all. Thumper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossybee Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 Paul, I like your vivid imagination.... Can't say I've tried the the thumb trick 😳 Ross Very Black 6spd SuperSport Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 I have a story along those lines (not with a up the 🙆🏻) involving a naked 2 week old and projectile poo. I'd need to recount it face to face Paul If ya' can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all. Thumper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachael Posted June 7, 2003 Author Share Posted June 7, 2003 I think we would all rather you didn't though Paul... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 No, it's all right, it's more funny than it's unpleasant (it does involve poo) Like father like son Parp Paul If ya' can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all. Thumper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossybee Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 Ross Very Black 6spd SuperSport Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted April 14, 2007 Share Posted April 14, 2007 And he's gone again 😔 Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams The Bearded Clams King Sh1t Of Clam Hill! NEW Updated Photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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