Mike Oxbiggar Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 I'm in a foul mood *mad* Someone cheer me up and tell me that Dicky Hill has been caught sunk to his nuts in Cagey's 🙆🏻 If this is paradise, I wish I had a lawnmower 😬 Webshots here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Village Idiot Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Sorry to disappoint but he's so small my nuts would be buried upto his armpit not his 🙆🏻 Dicks 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CageyH Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 😔 You guys need to get out more! Only dead fish go with the flow....! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Since last Thursday my dog's nuts have been in the bin at the Vet's 😳 ☹️ ... we're £150 worse off and he still tried to shag my leg yesterday 😔 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Supercheese R250 Caterham pictures here 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Area Representative Golf Juliet Tango Posted December 3, 2008 Area Representative Share Posted December 3, 2008 back to the three labradors joke just one example here Democratic dissent is not disloyalty, it is a positive civic duty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 he still tried to shag my leg yesterday I'd take it as a compliment 😬 😬 😬 😬 😬 Leave no more than a footprint, take no more than a photo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 😳 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 How about this to take your mind off things: Questions you can't answer: Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? What is the speed of darkness? Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics? If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?' Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.' Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs ! If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on........ Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? There - i'm sure you feel better now if not more confused than normal! 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkprincess Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 This forum is awful enough without the endless repetition of ancient cut-and-paste banal 'jokes'. But this has gone too far. Maybe I won't renew my membership next year. Who do I get in touch with?? RW04FUN RW08FUN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Birtwisle Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 I'm bored. I'm going to answer all those questions. Questions you can't answer: (OH YES I CAN!) Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? When a button/micro switch doesn't work we often assume it is the contacts that are not touching properly. Applying greater pressure to the button/switch will increase the likelihood of good electrical contact. Unless we take the batteries out and test them, we don't know if they are flat. Batteries tend to last a long time in remote controls, we therefore fail to recognise they need replacing every year or so. Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Because they are thieving buggers who know less about money than a Chimp does. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Because it would be dishonourable to die of a head wound on your way to your target. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? I have no way of quickly checking how many stars there are so I assume the person telling us might have better/more information than I do. If he is right or wrong, it doesn't _really_ matter. I can quickly check if the paint is wet. If it is, I won’t sit on the wet paint and spoil my new pair of pants. Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? Probably the person who had perfect speech and could enunciate properly and diagnosed the defective speech in someone who couldn't. What is the speed of darkness? Define darkness and I'll tell you. Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? When babies sleep they often sleep regardless of the noise and disturbance that surrounds them. They appear peaceful and unaware. That is what this saying means. Many babies don't wake up every too hours. Are there especially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics? The use of the word normal here could be offensive. The people with disabilities are not abnormal. The majority of spectators at the Special Olympics are 'able bodied' and therefore don't need special parking provision. The majority of disabled competitors are bussed in to the Olympics for the Olympic village and therefore don't need parking. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? What unit are you using? If the temperature is zero Kelvin, there probably won’t be a tomorrow. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? Peoples perceptions of time vary. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Wheels have been on baggage and luggage since the late 1890's. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Because in normal, every day life we spend our lives looking up at things and rarely get the chance to look down on the world in which we live. Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze These pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?' No because the person probably saw the calves suckle and drink milk. Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.' Again, our ancestors probably observed the behaviour of other animals and saw a rich source of food. Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Not all bread has the same flame/flash point. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Because the shock heat loading when the light is turned on might shatter the glass. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Probably because asking for the time could be misinterpreted or because pointing to our wrist is easy and reinforces the question. Asking for the toilet is more personal and in our society, rarely talked about. Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Common decency. Getting undressed in front of a stranger can be quite uncomfortable. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs ! Because Goofy is far far more intelligent than Pluto. Obviously. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? The two words are quite different in their origin and use and therefore can not be compared in this way. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Baby oil is made (generally) from petroleum based mineral oils. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? No. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? They don't if you watch Sesame Street. Stop singing and read on........ Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Yes. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? My dogs enjoyed having their faces blown at. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? No. Refer to question 1at the top of the page. S713UMY 1.8K Viper Blue and Spandex here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now