Delbert Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Late last Friday night I acquired a lodger This I neither want or deserve How the feck do I get rid of him???????? (bear in mind I crashed at his for 4 months last year) Sensible answers not required I tried go back to the wife but as she is ex Navy I cannot see him living much past 6 bells!!! 😳 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil_K Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Advertise for a lodger in the local paper, for the same room he's using. And then again, and again ...... See if you can get in the Guiness Book or Records for the highest number of lodgers simultaneously paying for the same room 😬 .... but here's the cunning part ........ Before the first advert goes in, put a sign on th fridge saying 'FIRST IN, FIRST OUT'. He will assume you're talking about cartons of milk, but when the lodger tally gets to double figures in one room, you can quote that policy and that it has been clearly displayed in advance. Therefore he is unable to claim ignorance and take you to court, but is forced to leave your gaff! It does leave you with a further 9 lodgers though ...... Where am I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry21p Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 1. Develop unpleasant body odours 2. Start inviting "men friends" of the camp variety round a lot & touching his knee at every opportunity 3. Insist that he turn vegetarian as you won't have meat in the house 4. Start feeding him vegetarian bean feast every day of the week - his intestines will object after about 3 days 5. Start leaving your dirty laundry outside his bedroom door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil_K Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Dave can help with 1,2 and 5 and says he'll be round next week 😬 Where am I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted November 28, 2007 Author Share Posted November 28, 2007 I did threaten that you were moving in AND the Veggy diet , but there is still a bag in his room, a plate and bowl to be cleaned up in the dining room, some items in the bathroom (short and curly variety) and worse of all.. And Alfa Romeo on the drive 😳 😳 😳 *eek* Edited by - Delbert on 28 Nov 2007 10:37:09 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Leave a turd on/in his pillow... 🤔 Should get the hint. Joint AR South Wales The Taffia Webshots here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 😬 😬 Blimey - difficult ... I like the 'camp' idea ... walk 'round the house naked, stroke his hair (I'm assuming he has some) , offer to run him a bath - then make some comment about water conservation and sharing 😬 ... course there is then the danger he'll take you up on the offer *eek* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry21p Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 As Del said, the only hair he's got left he seems to have left in the bathroom.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted November 28, 2007 Author Share Posted November 28, 2007 Blimey - difficult ... I like the 'camp' idea ... walk 'round the house naked, stroke his hair (I'm assuming he has some) , offer to run him a bath - then make some comment about water conservation and sharing I feel VERY sick now WHilst that has shifted the re introduced image of John Prescott its not a good thing *eek* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry21p Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 And there's "history" for the acting camp thing.... If the lodger is from where I think he is, then I'm pretty sure there were "rumours" in Delbert's old estate about all these male visitors.... (sorry - housing development what what 😬) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted November 28, 2007 Author Share Posted November 28, 2007 he is and there were 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Area Representative Golf Juliet Tango Posted November 28, 2007 Area Representative Share Posted November 28, 2007 Ask Delberta to stay with several of her friends? That should scare any man over the age of oh, say 30! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Area Representative Golf Juliet Tango Posted November 28, 2007 Area Representative Share Posted November 28, 2007 Or put his name on the local estate agents register (but only give them his mobile number not your address) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Area Representative Golf Juliet Tango Posted November 28, 2007 Area Representative Share Posted November 28, 2007 Start Lill at odd hours of the morning outside his window? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myles Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Tell him the Landie is on fire... 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 Alcester Racing 7s Equipe™ 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 Alcester-Racing-Sevens.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 This sounds like quite a challenge Supercheese R250 Caterham pictures here 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Voyant Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Oh I misread the last word in the title. For a moment I thought it began with a t Winces at the memory of John Wayne Bobbit's plight!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myles Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 For a moment I thought it began with a t It does for our Yorkshire readers.... 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 Alcester Racing 7s Equipe™ 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 🙆🏻 Alcester-Racing-Sevens.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs GTD Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Time to resurrect Doris? This is not just a Shedder, this is a... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTD Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Charge him rent? This space deliberately left blank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry21p Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Start building a wicker alfa in the back garden and keep measuring him up to see if he fits in it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Voyant Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 But t'loger is entirely different. I've still got my legs crossed. And no-one appeared to get my joke on the lead thread upstairs (are they being dim or difficult?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debert Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 You could of course, offer to host this years Sheds Chrimbo party We'd all scare him away ... but then you'd have the additional problem of getting rid of us lot 😬 *arrowright*Get a Mosaic Poster of YOUR car and help Nuke the Leuk here *arrowright*Pictures here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry21p Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Perfect Idea. Well volunteered Ebenezer Read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 I vaguely remember Del saying he'd be in foreign climes this Chrimbo ... so it's lucky the lodger'll have a set of keys !! 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now