Alex Birtwisle Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Once I saw a cucumber Hairy and quite smelly It chased me around the living room And twice around the telly I retreated to the attic And found some ammunition An old teapot and an action man And a bible (King James Edition) I launched the bible skyward From my action man bazooka And caught the cumber unawares With a crafty flanking manoeuvre The cumber dived for cover Its body lay in tatters I unleashed the killer tea-pot Direct hit and shatters Hairy cumbers heed this warning True words of this ballad Your existence will be terminated If you venture near my salad Thank you and goodnight 😬 S713UMY 1.8K Viper Blue and Spandex here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* *eek* 😬 Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams Don't point that beard at me, it might go off. Groucho Marx Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTD Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Eat your heart out, Wilfred Owen! Heading back to Blighty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Birtwisle Posted October 19, 2006 Author Share Posted October 19, 2006 it just came to me..... S713UMY 1.8K Viper Blue and Spandex here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tam Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Inspired I think we should vote Alex as the Spandex Laureate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash.Bailey Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 seconded wonder if the queen needs a spandex Laureate 🤔 its only one step away from a spandex Tourette If It aint yellow, wonky and wobbly................ 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash.Bailey Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 did I mention I've got manflu Tam ☹️ If It aint yellow, wonky and wobbly................ 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tam Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 You did Wonky, you did. Tea and sympathy is in the other thread rather than hi-jacking Alex's Cucumber Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 *thumbup*Thirded I think a book of children's poems would be brilliant - tempted to read this one to R400 tonight at story time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Do one about a seven and I could then use it to brainwash R400 at night - as I'm usually on story duty Mrs B will never know...as long as I remember to turn off the baby monitor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Birtwisle Posted October 19, 2006 Author Share Posted October 19, 2006 I will sit in my favourite chair tonight and summon the spirits of sevenly poems and see what I can do 😬 ...to turn off the baby monitor Is that like a really small screen for the computer 🤔 Alex S713UMY 1.8K Viper Blue and Spandex here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Brilliant together we can really mess with my child's mind. 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not a Postman Pat Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Fab 😬 Poopoo-san and his not quite black and white cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Brill, Inspires me to finish me Janet and John story When I get the mean reds the only thing to do is jump in the 7 ( with applebogies to Audrey) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
db Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 What talent there lurks with such remarkable lack of taste. Pass the gherkins... My ... Preciousss! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Err??? just one question. This Hairy Cumber thing in the last three verses? ? ? ? Is it in anyway related to the hairy cucumber in the first verse? Apart from that 😬 😬 😬 Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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