Boonie Hound Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Potty - Please take my nappy/pants down so I can wee on the floor. Potty, Potty, need wee - I have not used the potty all day even though you have used every act of encouragement possible and are now sounding like children presenters on speed. However, I have realised if I say this you will put me on my potty thus negating the fact I should really be in bed. Cuddle - please pick me up but for god's sake don't hug me, I and the rest of these things want to be carried. You are now my personal slave.mush, mush. Milk - I want to see how far I can spread this cos it makes a great smell once you work it into the carpet. Naughty Doggie - I have tripped over the dog or it has knocked me over after it got fed up with me trying to colour it a different colour with this crayon. Doggie/ sofa/ computer need a drink - I have tipped milk/ juice/ water over the said article...you may want to have a look at it. Daddy poo - why are you on the floor daddy with the pooey nappy I have just taken off on your foot? Sooorreee (best puppy dog look) or I luv you - You haven't seen what I've just done to your brand new iPod have you? Daddy sleep - this is a great excuse to make you shut your eyes and pretend to sleep so I can jump/hit and generally harm you in a cute way of waking you up. Fork gone - I have dropped my fork on your foot...sorry. But you won't tell me off cos I'm learning to use cutlery. Fork gone again - see above - but double the pain. Open (usually with a rushing wind noise) - you have left the child locks off again and look I can open the car door...aren't the trees travelling fast. Play, bear, mummy, daddy (loudly) - hello its 3am. oh-ho - I told you I could reach the vase on the highest shelf Edited by - boonie on 1 Aug 2006 14:08:50 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynne Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 The two best ones I can recall are.......mummy all the nappies are clean Ive washed them in the toilet or when a bit older my son having noticed that the clock in the lounge didnt work, repaired that one and then informed me that the other five now did not!!!! He also liked taking the back of the telly off and fiddling around. Turned telly on one morning, NOTHING...fiddled and kinda kicked it a bit, still nothing, phoned TV man. Man arrives at 3.00 and starts taking it to pieces with Simon watching closely.. at 3.55 still no joy....at exactly 4 o'clock simon stands up walks to the set, adds missing part...sits down ready to watch childrens TV. Needless to say TV man not amused. Oh it gets better as they get older - these first couple of years are just the testing ground for our patience at parents. Lynne(HM). Chief Cock and Bottle Washer @ The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Normans_Ghost Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Fork gone. I was once, once mind you - never again, asked to feed our youngest. A bowl of chocolate rice and a spoon were on her high chair. Mummy strapped her in. Daddy picked up spoon and offered it to lips of said child. Child grabbed spoon so daddy lets her have spoon as he thinks she's going to feed herself. Spoon on floor. Daddy leans over to pick up spoon Child tips contents of choccy rice over daddys head. Child in fits of laughter. So was daddy. Norman Verona, 1989 BDR 220bhp, Reg: B16BDR, Mem No 2166, the full story here You and your seven to The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not a Postman Pat Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Boonie 😬 Hot - I am about to touch that cup of tea/oven/fire, I am satisfied it is perfectly safe to touch Careful - see Hot Again - I will never become bored with this, keep doing it, don't stop, if you stop I will scream and scream and scream, and then throw up all over you Sick - face it, you will not reach a safe haven in time, just stop and let me throw up on you Enough - This bowl of food will be on the floor before you can even get up from your chair Fix it - please restore this smashed up wreck of a toy, that I have just destroyed, to new immediately Controller - ha ha, I have the remote now, I wonder if I can order a sky movie before you reach me Love you - God knows what it means, but you all smile when I say it, so it's worth something to me Fan on - turn the fan on immediately Fan off - you know I said 'Fan On' a second ago? Please now turn it off Fan on - changed my mind, please now put it on again Fan off - you know the drill Poopoo-san and his not quite black and white cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted August 1, 2006 Author Share Posted August 1, 2006 😬 😬 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynne Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 you know something guys...........your great Dad's. *smile* A man with a sense of humour is a gift from God Lynne(HM). Chief Cock and Bottle Washer @ The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted August 1, 2006 Author Share Posted August 1, 2006 I'm not sure about great but I must admit I find just laughing at things makes (like norman and the bowl on the head episode) for a much better approach - it means I don't get wound up and nor does R400 and allows me (most times) to deal with the situation more calmly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynne Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Ah Bless.......always remember as the years go on you will look back as we do and laugh...that is if your eyes arnt too puffy from crying the previous years before *smile* remember kids dont do anything different than we did as kids.....they just these days have more stuff for them to fiddle with!!!!! Lynne(HM). Chief Cock and Bottle Washer @ The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachael Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Oh, I'm so glad we're past that stage...still we do have some fun to look forward to though... Our eldest told me the other day that she's been having lessons about publicity in school...I thought this a little odd and questioned her further and she told me she'd seen pictures of naked people and was going to be learning about sex... ...ah, do you mean puberty? 😳 Thankfully all mention of boys still disgusts her, so that's alright Rach Cambridge AO and Brand Manager 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynne Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 It changes to Publicity when they get older *smile* Lynne(HM). Chief Cock and Bottle Washer @ The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted August 1, 2006 Author Share Posted August 1, 2006 😬 Can I also add: NO!! - I may mean yes but hey, why take a chance. If I infact do mean no I will throw what ever I'm holding if you keep persisting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynne Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Boonie.....me thinks you may need help here................ *smile* Lynne(HM). Chief Cock and Bottle Washer @ The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not a Postman Pat Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Hey Rach You are the same Rach that commanded the troops at the Birkett, aren't you? I only ask because you really don't look old enough to have kids old enough that you can say that you are past that stage > Poopoo-san and his not quite black and white cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTD Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 ...tinkle..splish... twang... = that'll stop that bl00dy awful piano noise that Daddy makes Het nemen van mijn Caterham aan Holland Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Then when they get to 12 "wHAT"..... You have not spent any money on me in 10 minutes " Urrrgh".... You have not spent any money on me in 10 minutes "Boring"... That money you spent 10 minutes ago has worn off "Daddio".... Buy me a new Mobile phone Big ISSSSSSSUUUUUUE, Get your BIG ISSSSSSSSSUE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Hmmmm I need a 16/18 year old to English phrase book too 😬 Supercheese R250 Caterham pictures here 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTD Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I need a 16/18 year old Playing up to the image, there, Paul - I dread to think! 😳 Het nemen van mijn Caterham aan Holland Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Normans_Ghost Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Delbert, it gets worse! You come out the other side when they get to about, em, well... 30 something! Norman Verona, 1989 BDR 220bhp, Reg: B16BDR, Mem No 2166, the full story here You and your seven to The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachael Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Thanks Pat. Yes the same Rach - although I don't know about commanding troops! 😬 Flattery will get you everywhere 😳 Delbert, Yes, I think we're almost at that stage ☹️ Rach Cambridge AO and Brand Manager 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 When my youngest daughter was 2 she was in her kiddy seat in the ack of the car when I took our cat to the vet. Someone pulled out of a T Junction causing me to question his driving skills. When we got home Robyn walks through the door and announced proudly that "Daddy saw a fukkaat anker in a blue car". (Her pronunciation) Bless her! K16 00C MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG (But at least it hasn't got bl00dy clamshells! ) Edited by - Ash Bailey on 2 Aug 2006 08:54:17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not a Postman Pat Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 😬 😳 😬 We had something similar. We visited my parents in Dublin. My Dad was a bit excitable at the wheel, and called someone who cut him up a right b4stard. From then on, my 3 year-old son would regularly point at other cars, and exclaim "Daddy, look at that blaster" Poopoo-san and his not quite black and white cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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