tbird Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 he was roasted, carved, and served with Yorkshire puds and gravy to the assembled shedders, who... Edited by - tbird on 2 Aug 2009 16:31:50 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 had become vegetarians in the time it had taken for him to cook through. So they chucked him in the bin instead. Just as they were scraping the last remnants off the serving platter, there was a knock at the door ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Voyant Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 and there stood Sweeny Todd and Mrs Miggins who were very Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CageyH Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 angry, as they were looking for Mr Ma. Only dead fish go with the flow....! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted August 2, 2009 Author Share Posted August 2, 2009 Meanwhile, Wile pulled himself together, rubbed himself pleasureably for several hours with all the basting fluids and then climbed out of the waste bin and went around to help look for Mr Ma. It was only then that he discovered Windycat and cageyh holding....... Dave Ardley - White Xflow with Clams The Bearded Clams - King Clam of Clam Hill! photos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 a conversation in yoda. He tried to follow but his translation suggested they were discussing ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CageyH Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 The force wanted you are in police. Only dead fish go with the flow....! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 After CageyH had finished forcing himself on the Farting Feline she............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Voyant Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 to the wastebin went Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted August 3, 2009 Author Share Posted August 3, 2009 headfirst..... ----- Dave Ardley - White Xflow with Clams The Bearded Clams - King Clam of Clam Hill! photos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 thus bumping into Mr Ma who was hiding in it with ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Village Idiot Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 an elephant (it could be said that the bin was just a little bit larger than your average waste paper bin), still thought the elephant.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Voyant Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 which proved it alive was still Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 'Where's my howdah?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La vache espagnole Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 Windy, who was frankly not great at elephant mind-reading, misheard and was under the impression the elephant had just thought:… nothing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted August 3, 2009 Author Share Posted August 3, 2009 Everyone was stunned . The story suddenly did not seem to make sense anymore What was to happen 🤔 Then, out of nowhere, a hedgehog appeared that, like myself, was born and raised on a farm, and lived just a couple of miles away from me. He came from a large family with six kids, and he was a year older than I am. The hedgehog learned to drive and repair vehicles at an early age, thanks to running tractors on the farm, and stealing one for a joyride around the fields every once in awhile when his parents were away. He dropped out of school after the ninth grade, and by the time he was 18, he was making £25 an hour driving a huge dump truck for my dad's excavating business. One of the first vehicles he owned was an old '64 Chevy pickup that was pretty much stripped of everything except seats and a very powerful engine. Everybody called it the "stump puller" because of its ridiculous amount of torque. Just by punching and letting off the accelerator rhythmically, he could get the front end to hop completely off the ground! This was partially due to some really, really wide rear tires, a pair of Mickey Thompson 50-series that were wider than they were tall, not something commonly seen in the 70's. He did a lot of crazy sh1t in that pickup. One day, I was driving home in my lime green Pontiac Ventura when I spotted him nearly half a mile away, driving in my direction on a long, straight stretch of road near my house. He spotted me too, and we both punched it and roared toward each other. Now, I had been working with the hedgehog an entire summer that year, both of us driving dump trucks on a project on my dad's farm. We played a lot of "chicken" with the dump trucks while hauling dirt, and were each familiar with the other's driving habits. Anyway, as we approached each other on the street that day, each doing a good 85 MPH or so in a 30 zone, I steered over into the oncoming lane, and he did the same. At the last second, we both jumped back into our respective right lanes as we went flying by the local Halfords in opposite directions. If anyone was watching, they probably carped themselves. One day, the hedgehog picked up a friend of mine and I in the "stump puller" and we drove off to a nearby neighborhood to get stoned. On the way out of this neighborhood, the road went up a fairly steep and isolated hill, a good spot for doing burnouts. The hedgehog wound it up, dropped the clutch, and the Mickeys filled the valley with smoke as the pickup roared slowly up the hill. We were laughing like hell as the Chevy actually slowed down and stopped moving forward, even with the accelerator to the floor and the tires still spinning. When the hedgehog finally let off, the truck started sliding backwards and sideways on a trail of hot rubber as he jumped on the brakes. We had liquefied the Mickey Thompson 50s! I don't know how much longer that pair of tires lasted. Now, when we were teenagers, we spent a lot of time in cars. It was always a good way to get away from your parents and exercise what freedom you had. In this atmosphere, the hedgehog understood this rule: He who controls the set of power window switches controls the world. Hedgehog's stump puller didn't have power windows, but his next two cars, a '67 Chevy Impala fastback coupe and a big four-door T-Bird, about a '70 or so, both did. Hedgehog would wield control of the power windows like a fascist dictator, to punish or embarrass his passengers. One weekend, Hedgehog, his girlfriend Tammy the camel, my friend Greg and I decided to take a road trip to Lion Country Safari, one of those "drive-through" zoos about three hours away. In the park, as we passed through a flock of ostriches in Hedgehog's big red T-Bird, one very large and curious bird put its face against the glass where Tammy the camel was riding in the passenger seat. Greg and I were in the back, smoking dope and laughing like hell at the stupid-looking bird, and Tammy the camel began shrieking. This made us laugh even harder, and made the Hedgehog roll down camel's window. With Tammy the camel still screaming, the ostrich poked its freaky head and neck clear into the car, eyeing the screaming camel with a blank look, then turning and gazing at the two laughing pot-heads in the back seat. Greg and I laughed so hard we nearly peed our pants. But the best incident ever was one I missed for some reason, but had recounted to me. Hedgehog and Greg were driving around the downtown of a nearby large city one evening in Hedgehog's '67 Impala, just screwing around and looking for something to do. Now, Greg was a shy fellow of about 18 at the time, and would not have his first girlfriend until he was about 35 years old. This made him an easy target for an extroverted sort like Hedgehog . Hedgehog spotted a nice looking woman on the sidewalk ahead, waiting for a level crossing light. He pulled over to the curb. "Ma'am?" he yelled at the woman. She looked up. Hedgehog motioned her towards him, and she walked toward the car. "Yes?" "Ma'am, could I sniff your stepladder?" The woman stepped backwards, but seemed mildly amused. "I don't think so," she replied. Hedgehog floored it on out of there, then made a U-turn. The woman had crossed the street and was now waiting for another light to turn. Hedgehog pulled up to the curb again, this time with the passenger side of the car, and Greg, facing the woman. He rolled down Greg's window and held it down. "Ma'am?" Dale yelled, getting her attention again. Again, she approached the car. "Yes?" "Ma'am, could my FRIEND sniff your stepladder?" Hedgehog later married TAMMY the camel. They have three kids and live on a nice farm with, among many other critters, some emus, a close cousin of the ostrich..... all the shedders were stunned by this and they decided to....... Dave Ardley - White Xflow with Clams The Bearded Clams - King Clam of Clam Hill! photos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CageyH Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 Search Wiles pockets to find out what medication he had been taking. Only dead fish go with the flow....! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 but Wile didn't have any pockets on account of him being......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 just oiled from the oven tray, so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CageyH Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 The Bailey decided to have a look in the folds.... Only dead fish go with the flow....! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted August 3, 2009 Author Share Posted August 3, 2009 at which point Wile felt he needed to point out that the folds were in fact part of the Poleta Folds Glacier Region and not in any way associated with his body *eek* So he pushed Bailey away with a pointed stick (showing him where the sheep were) and decided to...... Dave Ardley - White Xflow with Clams The Bearded Clams - King Clam of Clam Hill! photos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Village Idiot Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 stick the stick up his own 🙆🏻, however before he could perform this vile act Bailey nicked the stick saying he needed it for a lamb kebab, off trudged Bailey looking for Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 a smacked bottom, when I catch up with him for vile acts against those poor sheep. He's made it into the parish magazine again, I've never been so humiliated as I was in church last Sunday *mad* He's a very naughty boy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 but Pongy likes him so all is forgiven!! Meanwhile Wile was stick-less and pocket-less but still retaining his cooking heat like a ready-brek advert. Yet all he wanted to do was ... Edited by - WindyCat on 3 Aug 2009 22:15:32 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CageyH Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 < P A R P > Only dead fish go with the flow....! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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