Mike Oxbiggar Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 photofit that was shown on last night's Crimewatch Poor Ash was now well and truly..... 🤔 K16 00C The MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash.Bailey Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 over the moon with his new found fame . For years he had been trying to get on that X****ter thing but each time he was ..... If It aint yellow, wonky and wobbly................ 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Thawted by his singing voice, which sounded a little like a moose giving birth to a porcupine. Now porcupines have more pricks than Usk and Newport put together, which is surprising really, but......... K16 00C The MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Normans_Ghost Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Switzerland seems to have the biggset. They have lot of bankers too.......... Norman Verona, 1989 BDR 220bhp, Reg: B16BDR, Mem No 2166, the full story here You and your seven to The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcNS Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Who sit around all day slapping each others 🙆🏻 Nothing really happens in Switzerland, but there is a man called Swiss Tony who ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 had a phobia about letting things lie, but he new how to make love to a lady........But as for other Swiss they need a boot up the Fucha Pass this was administered by..... When I get the mean reds the only thing to do is jump in the 7 ( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash.Bailey Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 the same recievers that Caged bought in 2 weeks ago but were then bought out by Caterham cars. this news sent shockwaves through ..... If It aint yellow, wonky and wobbly................ 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted September 13, 2006 Author Share Posted September 13, 2006 ...the local community ( *eek* ) and suddenly there was mass hysteria throughout shedland; What was going on? Who was the mastermind behind this chaos? How could this happen? Just as folk were trying to make sense of this awful news around the corner came Ash Bailey naked at full tilt with a gimp mask in one hand and an inflateable porcupine in the other. He was being hotly persued by a large crowd of men dressed up in dark suits with well manicured hairstyles and shopping trolleys......poor Ash had run straight into the 'Dale Winton' supporters convention and was desparately trying to evade their advances. At this point, all shedders got out deck chairs, opened some popcorn and a bottle of beer and settled down to watch this infortunate spectacle. As Ash ran round the shed for the 15th time hotly chased by the Dale lookalikes he accidentally dropped the porcupine onto the ground and........ Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams Don't point that beard at me, it might go off. Groucho Marx Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom_C Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 ...it bounced up spiking one of the Dale fanclub in the rear... Cheers Tom FH54WLX - only the car supports ManU, honest! see here - UPDATED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 "YUK" squeaked the porcupine and promptly commited suicide by getting dangerously close to Stinky Dave who had just finished eating a baked onion swigged down with 3 bottles of cabbage water. The Dale look-a-like eventually caught Ash.............. Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted September 14, 2006 Author Share Posted September 14, 2006 ....and rogered him rotten over the back of a shopping trolley. It took four weeks to get the smile off of Ash's face, and in that time....... Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams Don't point that beard at me, it might go off. Groucho Marx Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 a BIG discussion took place about which charity we should give his smile to once he had finished with it. The discussion went on and on and round and round in circles without an ending. But, in the meantime Norm's Ghost decided to do a bulk buy of shopping trolleys............. Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 he'd found Wile7, rogered the bearded twat with the wrong end of a pineapple, cut his bearded throat with a blunt bread-knife, dissembled his white clammed 7 and rammed it piece by piece up the git's 🙆🏻hole. This also brought a hell of a smile to Wile's face, as for all the times he'd enjoyed in the 7, it had never occured to him how much he'd enjoy the 7 inside him... Wonky and Stinky Dave had a plan involving marmite, a small leg of lamb, a can of castrol and a condom. The plan evolved around.......... K16 00C The MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG Edited by - Ash Bailey on 14 Sep 2006 21:08:21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Feck.......... Hard to type fast after too much Carling Export............ K16 00C The MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Norm's Ghosts next bulk buy was going to be a big buttoned keyboard for Baileys fat fingered, one digit typing *tongue* Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted September 16, 2006 Author Share Posted September 16, 2006 I have just re read the above and for some reason I have inexplicably targeted a young Mr Ash Bailey in the story. I unreservedly apologise to Mr Bailey, his family and any other people who know him and may have felt offended by my writings on this thread.... That said, if they can not cope with the truth they should feck orf somewhere else 😬 PS: Anyone know how to remove GRP splinters from ones's 🙆🏻 please 🤔 😳 Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams Don't point that beard at me, it might go off. Groucho Marx Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 Dave, I am offended by your writing concerning Ash. I have known Ash for quite some time now, shared more than a few pints with him, been on track days, several big blats with him, loads of small blats with him, hill climbs, police driver training [whilst very hung over and stinking of booze - not one of my cleverest ideas], loads of club meetings and Stella/madras frenzies etc etc. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Let me assure you. . . . . . . . . . you haven't been nearly cruel or rude about him enough yet *tongue* *wink* *thumbup* 😬 Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 I've re-assembled my computer with the single and specific aim of insulting Strongy......... But I can't be arsed........... *tongue* As for that bearded calm 🙆🏻hole - I hope his butt-plug gets stuck K16 00C The MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted September 17, 2006 Author Share Posted September 17, 2006 As for that bearded calm bottomhole I am always calm irrespective of what is happening around me Ash, and at this moment in time, despite the posts elsewhere concerning shedders 'bottom burps', my own bottom is decidedly calm this morning. But thank you for asking Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams Don't point that beard at me, it might go off. Groucho Marx Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Normans_Ghost Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 Meanwhile when Norm stopped spinning like a top as he leapt of Anthony's merry-go-round he sent an email to Mr Ma asking if the did keyboards for fat fingers and shopping trolleys. Mr Ma responded with a totaly incomprehensable load of gibberish proving once and for all that Mr Ma and Anthony were one and the same person. This also confirmed that there was a dasterdly plot to............... Norman Verona, 1989 BDR 220bhp, Reg: B16BDR, Mem No 2166, the full story here You and your seven to The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 send Norm's Ghost to an early grave. Mr Ma responded again, this time the gibberish was.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CageyH Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 An order for the local chineese takeaway. It would appear that Mr Ma had heard of Norm's cunning plan, and decided to pay a visit to see what all the fuss was about. Mr Ma set off.... A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand. -- Bertrand Russell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 , but in the rush he had neglected to do up his shoelaces . He had also forgotten to............ Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 That the flight and alternative Ferry would be cancelled . So he mulled over his options ..... He Could always When I get the mean reds the only thing to do is jump in the 7 ( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Normans_Ghost Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 .... but he remembered he was going to France not Dublin. So he got on the ferry, tripping over his shoe laces as he went. When the ferry pulled out of Dover Mr Ma decided to go outside for a cigarette. As he lit up in a gale force wind and scantily clad blonde lady with exposed.... Norman Verona, 1989 BDR 220bhp, Reg: B16BDR, Mem No 2166, the full story here You and your seven to The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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