Normans_Ghost Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 ..because the tales of Davis the Perv is too much for young and old alike. The main story is intertwined with stories within stories within stories. Some are funny (Davis and the Whale) some are sad (Davis and the Teapot) and some are downright pornographic (Davis and the Loofa). However we will have to wait till the clock strikes 9 tonight on the Sheds channel to view this fascinating sequel to Davis the Infuriating, the story of.......... Norman Verona, 1989 BDR 220bhp, Reg: B16BDR, Mem No 2166, the full story here You and your seven to The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Normans_Ghost Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 bloody hell, we've been for a meal, I've had a Kir Breton a bottle of musadet, colonel (sorbet and vodka) and a brandy with my coffee And not one of you bastards have continued the story, Wonky all is forgiven, come back. Norman Verona, 1989 BDR 220bhp, Reg: B16BDR, Mem No 2166, the full story here You and your seven to The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Norman and his 5 hour 57 minute meal, the story of.......... Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 .... poor service at a Little Chef.... It turned out to be a simple issue. Following on from the "Its does what it says on the tin" marketting campaign Little Chef had employed Dwarfs to run the Resteraunt. The first issue was Norman could not find a waiter until he stepped on one. The order was placed but the Short order chef could not reach the gas hob or the fryer. This was because the ladders alowed under HSE now were too short. The regulations were widened after the famous and ground breaking Midget Vs The Dwarf Diner Inc where Ms Midget had been climbing up her ladder to the fryer but ended up doing a half pike with back flip off the ladder and into the sink. No damage was caused to either components but the Norwegian judge only gave 2.4 as a points score. Claiming that the Spatular had been used as an illegal aid the judge stood his ground. At the height of the furor the judge offered to resign for $12.50 but later rescinded the offer when he realised the International Dwarf Dwarf Conferance was coming up and he reckoned he had a chance of promotion to the comittee. Not withstanding this incident he was still on the short list along with..... When I get the mean reds the only thing to do is jump in the 7 ( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Normans_Ghost Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Norman, who after 40 years of BWFP* had been compressed to 18" height.... *battering with frying pan ps it was a very nice meal. Cassiette of escorgot, saumon and colonel to finish, all washed down with a lovely bottle of Muscadet and followed by coffee and Brandy. I think we had something to celebrate but after that lot I can't remember what. Norman Verona, 1989 BDR 220bhp, Reg: B16BDR, Mem No 2166, the full story here You and your seven to The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 .... and 7 feet wide. This in itself was going to be a hinderance to Normans chances of making the International commitee. After all the committee door was only 4 ft wide. However the International commite decided to give each applicant an interview. The day came and Norman duly attended the Hotel in Littlehampton. He knew the day went badly when he had to be interviewed from the hall outside. Some of the commitee mebers , most notably a midget from Estonia , tried to help by lifting Norman on his side and rolling the disc like Anglophile through the door. However the density that Norman now was with all this compresssion made him difficult to lift even for an Estonian who had steroids in his drinking water. All was going well with the Dwarf tipping until Normans Poodle decided to be brave and slip his Diamonte collar and have a nibble of the helpfull Estonian. The helpfull East European jumped back in fright at the sight of a pink poodle with hair extensions mincing at him baring his teeth and tripped over Normans Man purse. Such a curfuffell was caused that the interview descended into a farce . A dejected Norman left the hotel and went for a walk round Littlehampton where..... When I get the mean reds the only thing to do is jump in the 7 ( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash.Bailey Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 he bumped into Bailey returning from his holidays with a bright red glow about his ugly mug . It turned out that Bailey had been arrested on the aeroplane ont way back from Greekland for farting uncontrolably in the face of the pert blonde air steward as she passed Mrs Baileys half reheated sausage casserole across the 2 rows of seats. Bailey was just being taken into the rear doors of the court for the hearing, Norm offered to be a character reference (as if he didnt have enough grief already ) . Norm stood up and began : "My lord ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 The judge interupted (que very old joke from the 1963 book of Boys jokes) "Stand up when Addressing me Mr Verona" " I am said the 18" Tall Norm but I suffer from BWFP" Ahh said the judge "I had that " but I found Arseknick cured the problem" " *confused*" Norman was quizzical " Yes" said the judge"I put it in her tea" 😬 😬.... The court errupted as Mrs Verona lamped the judge with one of her finest Le Crueseut FPs and then proceeded to....... When I get the mean reds the only thing to do is jump in the 7 ( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash.Bailey Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 continue picking her nose 😬. The judge continued: "Mr Verona... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Normans_Ghost Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 "I'm here to say that this ere Ash bloke is OK. He bought a very nice jack and gave lots of oddles to the clubs charity, so he's awlwight in my book" The judge was looking quizical. "I can hear the witness but where is he?" "M'lord", said the clerk, "he's hiding at the bottom of the specially widened witness box, sir" Widened, why is it widened? "Because the fat bastard's 7' wide, M'lord and............. Norman Verona, 1989 BDR 220bhp, Reg: B16BDR, Mem No 2166, the full story here You and your seven to The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash.Bailey Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 there is a bogey on your left shoulder M'lurd ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 and another one in your coffee m'lurd - slurp too late 😳........ Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom_C Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 ...Don't worry said Wonky, that was only some of Birds' finest that had got away from me... Cheers Tom FH54WLX - only the car supports ManU, honest! see here - UPDATED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CageyH Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 When I was emptying my pockets, looking for my hand pull out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 wig wobbler. Think of the fun I could have in court with that m'lurd. While you are delivering the verdict I could......... Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash.Bailey Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 sneak out the back door and get a job at Halfords ... If It aint yellow, wonky and wobbly................ 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I'm back to lower the tone!!! K16 00C The MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG No longer bent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash.Bailey Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 shouted the Halfords Manager as he boldly strolled on to the shop floor where no mamager had been before . Bailey meanwhile was still in the dock m'lurd......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 being pulled by a tugboat......... Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 Whilst all the seamen aboard .................. 🤔 K16 00C The MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG No longer bent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 Was being mopped up by the deck hand Master Bates,,,, When I get the mean reds the only thing to do is jump in the 7 ( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Normans_Ghost Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 ... i'll be there in a minute says Master Bates, as Ash was being taken down and the judge was removing the black hood.... Norman Verona, 1989 BDR 220bhp, Reg: B16BDR, Mem No 2166, the full story here You and your seven to The French Blatting Company Limited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delbert Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 ed spider that had been placed down his under crackers. Meanwhile in a location only known to the cider fraternity PD was getting cornered by an irate tramp shouting that Delbert had......... When I get the mean reds the only thing to do is jump in the 7 ( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 pissed his skirt and was trying to mop the liquid with a ................ Supercheese R250 Caterham pictures here 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 very tall, thin, Rastafarian man. The Rasta, complete with 'weed', was being held upside down by Delbert, his dreads were mopping up the 🤔 K16 00C The MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG No longer bent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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